Things The X-Men Would Never Say!
by X-Hen Evolution
Summary: Yes, I know there's a million of these, but here's ANOTHER one!! *evil laughter*


Things The X-men Would Never Say.

Cyclops

· Guys, does this dress make me look fat?

· I wonder what would happen if I got contacts...

· I wonder what would happen if I got blue-tinted glasses instead of red...

· Jean, I'm gay.

· *dyes his hair black*  Gee... now I don't match my shades well anymore... Blue-tint time!!  *evil laughter*

· I can fly I can fly!!!  *jumps off balcony and critically wounds himself*  I can... fly... really...

· I'm singing in the rain... Just singin' in the rain!

· *does the grover dance like Kurt*

· *eats a raw french fry, noticing the others are ALSO raw*  Gonna have to fix this.  *cooks them with his vision*  That's better.  ^_^

· I don't want to be leader anymore.  Job's all yours, Evan.

· Jean, here's a tip.  Get a shirt that covers your stomach and stop trying to look like a slut all the time.  THEN I might CONSIDER dating you.

· *uses his laser vision*  Monster Burn!!

Jean

· 2-4-6-8!  Who do we appreciate?  Lance!  Lance!  Lance!

· Scott, I... I think it's time I tell you who I really am.  *rips off mask*  I'm Carrot Top.  Call 1-800-CALL-ATT!!

· La la la la la la!  Sing a happy song!

· *dresses up in Sailor Moon costume*  Sorry, my regular clothes were at the cleaners and they weren't ready for battle in time.  Moon Prism Power!!!!

· Um... Professer... How does this telepathy thing work again?

· Can't lift feather with mind... too heavy...

· Hey, Kitty, you realize I'm allergic to cats.  Right?  RIGHT?!

· I'm a moron!  Lookit me!!!  *does the grover dance like Kurt*

Professer Xavier

· I quit.  Magneto, you win.

· Scott, you're fired.

· You too, Jean.

· Magneto, I think it's time to tell you who I really am.  *rips off a patch over his forhead and removes his jacket*  I'm Tien, from Dragon Ball Z.

· Yeah, I can walk.  It's just easier not to.

· I'm sterile.

· *wheel on wheelchair breaks*  Um.. help?

· I forgot how to use telepathy.  Oh well.

· It's a wonderful life.  Oh oh oh oh oh!  It's a beautiful life!

· Don't want no short people no.

· Did anyone beside me notice that my clothes look identicle to Darien from Sailor Moon?

· Logan, I'd like to recommend to you this Hemoroid Creme.  Works wonders, you know.

Kitty

· Vally girl?  Like, I TOTALLY don't, like, get what you mean.  I'm totally not like a, like, valley girl!  Totally!!

· Um... Lance scares me.  Get him off...  *cries to her mommy*

· Toad, you are the most handsome man I've, like, ever seen!

· I'm a Barbie girl.  In a Barbie world... Life in plastic.  It's fantastic!

· Jupiter Star Power!!

· *walks into a wall*  Drat!  My powers wore off!  I'll try again.  *runs into wall*  Ouch... Oh well.  Maybe I'll use the door for once...

· Did you guys, like, know there are 10 different Marvel Comics versions of me?

· Wow!  It's, like, the Backstreet Boys!  Oh My GAWD!!!!  *runs into her poster of them on the wall*  Like.. ouch...

· I can talk without saying "like" or "totally."  I just totally like, choose not to.

· Um... yeah.  What do you say we just drop the X-man thing and join up with Magneto?  He's gonna win anyways, and that Brotherhood thing could use more girls anyways!

Kurt

· Wow... chicks DON'T dig the fuzzy-blue-elf...

· I just realized Amanda from my math class has been stalking me...  I'd better report her to the police!!

· Did anyone besides me notice my uncanny resemblance with Beast?

· Noooooo!! It's impossible!!  You aren't my mother!!!!!  Wait... nevermind.  Sorry mom!  Don't ground me!!  PLEASE?!?!?!?

· Teleporting?  What's that?

· *teleports away, leaving PLEASANT smelling smoke, unlike the acidic smell it had*

· *Teleports by mistake into the girls locker room*

· *teleports into Ms. Darkholme's (his mom's) office and sees her in drag with Toad and Fred*  Um...  Having a costume party?  Look!  I brought a skirt I can wear to blend in!!

· *joins the Blue Man Group*

· Just add a little bit of yellow and you have Piccolo!  *dresses in Namekian gi*  Now.. to find Gohan...  *sees Lance*  Okay, Gohan or Lance or whoever you are, you will train under me and I WILL use my laser eyes, whether it burns your underwear or not!  *evil laughter*

· Did anyone notice my tail looks like a pie-server?  Oh well.

· I'm missing the Ace of Spades in this card deck...  Guess I'll use my tail.

· *counting math on his fingers and toes*  Dang... I can only count up to ten!

· *shaves off his blue fuzz*

Logan

· Anyone got a nail file?  *uses his claws instead*

· Got milk?

· I need a hug.

· Sabretooth is my best friend in the whole wide world!!!

· Make love, not war.

· Fighting is NOT the answer!

· I'm a vegetarian.

· Please, call me Badger.

· Lookit the cute lil puppy!!  Professer, can I keep it?  Please?

Evan

· *can't use his spikes anymore*

· Wow... Mystique is my goddess...

· This Magneto guy is cool.

· Pietro, I know you're better than me.  What do you say we stop competing and I'll buy us ice cream?

Rogue

· I'm not a rogue at all.  I'm really a nomad.

· *wears pink*

· Kitty is the COOLEST!  I'm, like, TOTALLY going to idolize her!

· Logan, I want you.  NOW.

· I need a tan really really bad.


End file.
